Apropos of nothing…Posted by C

Note: This is a true story. But it happened more than twenty years ago, so the statute of limitations has long since expired.

An old friend of mine was leaving a bar one night. The bar sits on the edge of a deep, rocky ravine. (This will be important later.)

Now, let me tell you about Ric. Ric is a great guy: smart, funny, and generous to a fault. He’s also a scruffy looking biker, big, and unusually strong. He never worked out as far as I know. He’s just one of those guys who got big arms and shoulders the same way he got a masculine jaw: he grew up, and there they were. The point is that if you don’t know him, and have any reason to be on the defensive, you might find him a little intimidating.

Well, Ric comes swaggering out the back door of this bar, looking to climb on his Harley and mosey along home, when he finds he has inadvertently walked into a bust in progress-- two young cops are there, and one is busy putting cuffs on somebody.

Now, if you’ve ever interacted with cops in L.A. then you know they aren’t the brightest bunch of guys. In fact, the L.A. Police Academy actively weeds out the smarties. They want guys who’ll act first and ask questions later, for obvious reasons.

Well, as you might expect, the cop not busy putting cuffs on somebody takes one look at Ric, and decides that Ric must some how be involved in whatever it is the guy they were arresting had been doing. Remember: Ric’s a scruffy looking biker.

So the cop starts to pull out his billy club.

Now, this doesn’t sit well with Ric. Ric has a well developed sense of self-preservation, and people in L.A. have known for generations before the Rodney King incident what L.A. cops tend to do with their billy clubs at the drop of a hat. So by the time the billy club is raised, Ric has one hand on it. He wants an opportunity to talk, to diffuse the situation before it escalates into something unfortunate.

The cop, startled by this affront to his authority, and perhaps made a bit nervous by it, takes a step backward.

He tumbles into that deep, rocky ravine mentioned earlier.

Probably he was injured.

Of course he let go of the billy club.

The second cop looks over, and what does he see? His partner is gone, and there’s a big, scruffy looking biker standing there with his partner’s billy club in his hand.

So the cop reaches for his gun.

Ric thinks fast: If the cop is allowed to pull his gun, he may shoot. If he doesn’t shoot, he will certainly arrest Ric, charges will be pressed, and Ric will undoubtedly do jail time. Ric’s sense of justice, not to mention his sense of self-preservation, just can’t allow that to happen. There is only one thing he can do, and he does it. Before the cop can pull his gun, Ric uses the billy club to give him a little poke in the chest, which causes him to step backwards...

The second cop tumbles into that deep, rocky ravine, where his partner is waiting for him.

Probably he was injured.

Ric climbs on his motorcycle and leaves. He doesn’t stop until he’s in San Diego, two counties away. He doesn’t come home for weeks, until he is satisfied-- by the fact that no one has come to his home looking for him-- that he was not identified.

I'll always wonder what went into the report those cops filed on the incident.

Labels: Biker, Cops, True Story

  ¶ 1:25 PM